Tuesday 30 September 2008

Tallulah Bellulah

24th December 2000 - 9th September 2008
My little Bubadub
My buddy Boodah
My best friend

I love you, Lulla xxx
Bye Bye Bellulah

7 comments:

Nowhere Girl said...

It's nice to hear from you again. I'm so sorry about your cat. Pets are like family. I hope you can take comfort in the memories of the friendship she provided.

I'm sorry your job is so difficult. That's disgusting that you're made to work 60 hours. I really feel your frustration about your job vs. your education. I feel bad that the situation has brought you to tears. I've felt like that too and it's not pleasant.

I've gotten so desperate that tomorrow I have a job interview with a department store in the nearby mall for a beauty advisor in the cosmetics dept. There are a few lines that I like and wouldn't mind working for. I just hope it doesn't involve assaulting people with perfume as they go past (I always try to avoid those ladies). But with the economy the way it is, I just hope for a job that makes me happy. I hope you can find one like that, too :) I know you would make someone a fabulous employee!

xoxo

bye bye bellulah said...

Thanks. You too x

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear it Bellulah. And sorry to hear about your job woes too. (Having popped over to Nowhere Girl and then realising how she knew all this info that wasn't alluded to in your post.) I want to say something encouraging. Well, just as the good things don't last for ever, I suppose the bad don't and won't either. Hoping things are an oodle better very soon.

bye bye bellulah said...

Thanks pleite, that's really kind of you. I just re-read my post and I sounded so unhappy I had to laugh!

Am going to put the kettle on, make a nice cup of tea, then start again...

Anonymous said...

Hi Bellulah. I'm confused. Does Nowhere Girl know something I don't know? Sorry to hear your job situation is a pain. I've just resigned from a crap job myself. Why is employment such a tough nut to crack sometimes?

Sorry to hear about your cat. You must have got very devoted over almost 8 years.

It would be good to know more about how you're getting on.

bye bye bellulah said...

Thanks Nick,

I came to post a bye bye to Tallullah Bellulah (where the name origianlly came from) on here and took a trip back to some of the sites I'd enjoyed the most back in the blogging days - over a year ago now.

Then I read Nowhere Girl's post about job difficulties and couldn't help but let it all pour out on her site!

In Sept 2000 I moved to a new place knowing no-one and 4 hours from home and adopted Lulla for company from a rescue place in Dec 2000. She was already over a year old and had been one of only 11 cats to have survived from a house of over 30. Lulla came with Flossie, who's still here, but although Flossie is the most adorable cat you could ever meet, Lulla and I bonded like we were alone at the end of the world.

Since then I've had to move 4 times with work, each time starting again, each time knowing no-one and getting geographically further away from 'home', family and friends.


Lulla adored me and was always there and became a substitute for real non-furry friends in my life and I let myself give her the love and affection that I would've given to people.

She died quickly and I feel all at sea without her.

This last year was supposed to have been an adventure and a new start for me, but it's turned out to be a bit of a nightmare and now I have no sense of where home is.

My friends have been getting on with their own lives and I hate my shitty job (and it is a shitty job - no soul), feel like I should be able to get a new one, but am finding it hard in reality to do so. I have to work 6 days around 60 hours a week and only get paid for about 2/3rds of that.

Have always been positive and independent but suddenly feel like a lost and lonely child, like a rabbit caught in the headlights and unable to move forward.

Compared with many people I'm ok, I'm healthy and not poor and have a warm, safe home to come back to at night. But I'm lonely, unhappy and tired, have no sense of meaning and I want my Mum.

I know how self-indulgent all this is, I have to pull myself together and get on with things. Be strong, focus, stuff like that.

I will. I just want to be miserable about my life for a while. As pleite says, things will get better again, though I am a bit scared that they might not. I'd always thought my life would be great and now I'm realising that sometimes people do have unhappy, unfulfilled lives and I might become one of them.

That's it really. I'll look back on this soon and be embarassed about how whiney I sound, but today this is how I am.

Anonymous said...

That's very sad. I'm sorry things are going so badly for you right now, but I'm sure as Pleite says your luck will turn sooner or later and there'll be better times.