Apologies to any teenagers, or parents of children or people who used to be younger, but I hate teenagers, children and young people. Well, children aren't that bad, except they take such a long time to get to 30.
Facebook: The social networking site – which until last September was restricted to students - saw its unique user base soar to 26.6 million users as of May 2007, up a hefty 89 percent year over year and more than double the 14 million users the site claimed prior to the lifting of all registration restraints, according to a new report issued by comScore. And perhaps most surprisingly, close to 40 percent of Facebook’s audience, or 10.4 million uniques is now 35 and over. That’s nearly 3 million more users than the 7.8 million 18-24 years olds that frequent the site.
Ha!
Work experience boy (14): I like mostly old stuff, Led Zeppelin, I don't know if you've heard of them - to,
Me: No, I was born old yesterday
Me: That was rude - to,
Saturday girl (16): All my friends at school speak to each other like that. I think it must be an age thing - to,
Me: No I know old people who are rude too. Oh, maybe you're right, you're not properly grown up yet are you, not socially mature
Me: I'm coming to your school to sit a supervised exam while you're doing your Highers - to,
Saturday boy (17): Don't worry, Angus and I'll look after you - to,
Me: (Insert grateful response here) Why will I need looking after? - to,
Sb (17): Aren't you bothered about being older than everyone else? - to,
Me: Why would I be bothered? Why would you assume that the opinions of children would interest me in the slightest? It's not like you're important in the bigger scheme of things
I hate their optimism and plans and world revolves around me-ness. I love being older now and wouldn't go back beyond 30 for anything. You don't know shit, babies. Why do they assume they are the default setting for the present and the future?
Like what men do. Men? Men? Big Swinging Dicks and Masters of the Universe everyone of them. In their own heads and trousers. Oh look at me I'm a man therefore I'm the boss of you. I'm the default setting for "a person". How many times when people say 'and other people' do they mean 'not men'. There are no other people except men, except women.
Women, what's that moaning all about? Always fucking moaning about something. Younger women, see above, and stop being so vain and fragile, yes people do like you for the way you look and then you'll hit 40 and the invisible conveyor belt under your feet will stop and fling you off the end onto the scrap-heap. All middle-aged women are boring, self-righteous, neurotic and patronising, especially mothers. Mothers, like young people and men assume they're the default setting and childlessness is naturally, pitifully or willfully wrong.
Get a whicker shopping basket and die.
